Stardust

Writings from my little corner of existence

Getting Prepared

One of the things I do to take my mind off being sick when I’m too sick to do anything productive is read- books, magazines, internet articles; anything I can.

Today, for some reason, I chose to read “Things I Wish I Knew About Childbirth (/pregnancy/newborns/etc) Before” articles. Nobody panic- it’s still down the road for us right now. But they drew my fancy today, and I figured heck, why not? Never hurts to be prepared far in advance, right?

But one in particular got me thinking about how I’d like it to happen- at home or in the hospital, or where else. And I don’t know, really. The hippie in me wants the at-home, the gods-given gifts I was born with as a woman bringing the child into the world-type birth, but the sickly child and paranoid what-if-er in me wants the hospital for the safety net. And the whole not tearing open delicate parts is a nice thought, too.

Knowing your mother’s pregnancy with you and your grandmother’s with hers, as well as your blood aunts’ can help you foresee issues in your own and give some clues what to expect. What I know of mine sets me on edge about difficult pregnancies, and makes me want the doctors and all the tools at their disposal on-hand to help my baby the instant he/she needs it.

But no way in hell am I getting induced unless they demonstrate to me a clear and present danger to our child if I don’t. I don’t want them scheduled, and I don’t want them being born before they’re ready. That’s a place where my hippie is putting the foot down! We learned in our NFP classes that a large portion of due dates are miscalculated anyway, leading to the thought that the baby should be born earlier than it really should be, and many unneeded inductions.

There just seem to be so many benefits one way and the other…and I think we may end up going for a birthing center attached to a hospital, where you get a less “hospital-y” experience but all the safety nets a hospital has to offer. I’m just hoping we live within a reasonable distance of one when we do start having kids, so I don’t have to ride in a car for an hour or two in labor.

Why am I thinking about it now, if we’re not planning on actually having any for a while yet? Because I’m a nester and a prepper by nature. Having a plan- even if the plan falls through -is absolutely essential to my being. I need to make lists, do research, make “if-not-then” plans, gather any materials I see necessary, etc. for every major thing I do. I would, as a matter of principle, much rather be over-prepared than under-prepared (which is probably why my purse always weighs more than it should). The whole ‘better to have an umbrella and sunshine than rain and nothing’ kind of idea.

And as awesome as an experience I expect it to be one way or another, it’s frightening. For 40 weeks(ish), I will be directly and irrevocably responsible for another life, and everything I do- everything -sets the groundwork for the rest of its days. And then, for the rest of my days, I will be Mother to someone. It is a responsibility and a privilege that should not be taken lightly. All those “What happens if…” scenarios invoke my nesting/prepping responses like you would not believe. So I read :)

I mean, we had named two kids something like a month after we were married, and it makes me nervous now -still so far from using up the first two -that we don’t have a name for a second boy or second girl. It looks crazy to people -except for the girls who have had their kids named since jr. high -but it’s just how I am. Kids that don’t even exist yet have a Pinterest board, and while it creeps out my friends, it brings me great comfort.

Besides…I hear after that kid starts crawling, you can’t really be prepared for anything anymore, so I should do what I can when I can, right?

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3 Comments

  1. There are probably some people who believe you that you’re not thinking about having kids sooner than later, in spite of how much time you spend talking about pregnancy-related issues in person and online.

    Let me know if you find some of them. It might take awhile.
    ;-)

  2. Starskim

    It’s just kind of been on my mind lately, with the whole PCOS thing and all :/ Somewhat distressing.

  3. Starskim

    And when half the photos coming along my Facebook feed are other people’s ultrasounds/pregnant bellies/newborns in tiny knit sweaters.

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